Primary school children need age-appropriate information about sex and reproduction. This is not one big talk, but lots of little conversations repeated.

Puberty brings about dramatic physical and emotional changes that may be frightening to an unprepared child. Your talks will need to include topics such as the stages of sexual development, what to expect during puberty, sexual responsibility and relationships.

Understanding your child’s sexual development
It is more common to hear parents swapping stories about children’s first teeth and first steps than it is to hear about a child’s sexual development. This is understandable, as it is often seen as a very personal aspect of a person’s growth and development. Yet this lack of general knowledge about what is ‘normal’ sexual development can lead to unnecessary anxiety about children’s interest in nudity, ‘rude’ things and sex.

It is important to understand the stages of sexual development your child is likely to go through at different ages and what you can do to help them adjust to the changes they will experience. Parents are often relieved to hear that helping their child towards a happy, healthy sexuality does not come from any ‘one big talk’ that must be word perfect.

Talking with children about sex
Sex education for a primary school child mostly occurs in the way we talk about body parts and body functions, how we teach children to care for, respect and protect their bodies, and when we prepare our children for puberty. Choosing the right age to answer questions such as ‘Where do I come from?’ and ‘What is sex?’ is more about how comfortable your family feels talking about such topics, rather than there being a perfect time.

Many children will have asked the question by the time they reach school. By Grade 3 they will have a keen interest and will have formulated some kind of theory. Many children will also have made the link between reproduction and sexual pleasure, and will be entering into schoolyard speculation and curiosity.

Talking about these issues shows children that they can talk with trusted adults. Families lay the groundwork for children to feel OK about their bodies and body functions, and to feel confident to ask questions and seek help.

School programs are vital to support this process. Developing good sexuality education programs shows that the community takes responsibility for this aspect of children’s growth and development. If families and schools won’t take the subject on, children will turn to other sources of information that may not be reliable such as friends, the Internet or the media.

Normal sexual development of a primary school child
Don’t be horrified or alarmed if your child has an interest in sexual issues or displays certain sexual behaviours – this is completely normal. In the primary school years, typical behaviours can include:

* They become modest and embarrassed about being naked in front of their parents.
* They start gravitating towards same-sex friends and may complain about ‘girl germs’ or ‘boy germs’ when speaking of the opposite sex.
* Games with other children could include kissing games and marriage role-play.
* Children are curious about gender differences, sexual intercourse and pregnancy, and may discuss these issues among themselves with varying degrees of accuracy.
* Sex play that began in a child’s earlier years, such as ‘playing doctor’, may continue because children of this age are interested in knowing more.
 

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