What is it?
Premature ejaculation (PE) means coming too quickly, and it's one of the commonest of all sexual problems.

In our survey of several thousand British males, approximately 10 per cent of them said that they often or sometimes had this trouble.

We found that it's commoner in younger men - which is not surprising, as there's a distinct tendency for it to improve with age. Men generally get better control as they grow older.

However, a 2004 survey in Europe showed that many middle-aged men still have this problem. Fortunately, good treatments are available.
Definitions

It’s almost impossible to get an accurate definition of premature ejaculation: what some couples consider a satisfactory length of intercourse would be very inadequate for others.

At the 2006 Congress of the European Society for Sexual Medicine, an American research paper reported:

the average lasting time of men with PE was 1.8 minutes.
'normal' men lasted an average of 7.3 minutes.

But there were males who claimed to have premature ejaculation, yet who could last up to 25 minutes. This clearly shows people have wildly differing ideas about what is normal.

At the same Congress, Professor Waldinger reported that 2.5 per cent of men couldn't last 90 seconds inside the vagina. Those males undoubtedly have PE.

From our own clinical experience, there are plenty of couples who would regard intercourse that lasts under 20 minutes as less than satisfactory, and would feel that any ejaculation in under 10 minutes or so is decidedly premature.

As a working definition, if either you or your partner feel that orgasm is happening too soon, then there probably is some degree of PE.

Does it matter?
In most cases premature ejaculation does matter, because it makes people unhappy and frustrated. And in severe cases PE can threaten or even ruin a marriage - simply because it spoils the sex lives of both partners.

Sometimes, the condition is so bad the man can't have sex because he ejaculates before he can get into the vagina. This can be devastating for a man's self-confidence. And it can be hugely frustrating and annoying for his partner – especially if she wants to get pregnant.

However, most men merely find PE a considerable irritation. It's a condition that makes them come very soon after they enter their partner - say, after only a minute or two, so neither party gets a lot of satisfaction.

What causes it?
For many years, sex experts have tended to say that premature ejaculation is caused by early conditioning.

In other words, the man's early, rushed (and perhaps furtive) sexual experiences had to be quick so as to avoid detection. The idea is that this conditions him to climax as quickly as possible.

However, our own surveys have found that many men with PE did not have rushed early sexual experiences - though others say they did.

It's worth noting that from an evolutionary point of view, it's probable that males who climaxed quickly were more likely to have children. In other words, if you were a caveman who came very fast, you'd stand more chance of impregnating your woman and enlarging your tribe.

Some men seem to be highly triggered right from the start of their sex lives, and we have encountered instances where their fathers were much the same. Therefore, we feel that the tendency to reach orgasm quickly may possibly be inherited rather than learned.

Finally, there's no question that anxiety or 'nerves' play a part in many cases of PE. If you're nervous, you're likely to come too quickly.

This is why many males have discovered for themselves that a small amount of alcohol eases their nerves and makes them less likely to climax prematurely. But we wouldn't recommend alcohol as a treatment.
 

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